TDTF
by dbspug
Summary: Hondo Ohnaka and Cad Bane have a drink..well a few drinks.  PG-13, Slash


**Too Drunk To Fuck**

_Paring: Hondo Ohnaka/Cad Bane_

_Series: Star Wars: The Clone Wars_

_Rating: PG-13_

Weequay pirates loved to celebrate. Even if it meant getting the festivities on before the job was even done. With a cool cold half a million in credits lined up in the event that this particular job went down well - Hondo Ohnaka was hitting the spice laced drinks as hard as he could.

- and insisting the hired help he'd commissioned on a tip from his off and on lover, who was presently absent, did the same.

"Y'know, I liiiiiike you," Hondo told the bounty hunter, his rough skinned arm slung heavy over the other male's slim shoulders, goggled eyes heavy with drink and budding dangerous friendship, "you really know how to put back t'spice, my friend -"

"You jus' -" Needled fangs scrapped against a bottom blue lip as the bounty hunter had to mull over his words in a drunken haze, "You jus' keep de drinks comin', son - I might like you too."

"Oh - are you making promises now, Bane?" Hondo grinned, shaking the duros between his elbow and body in a half-hug. "That I can do! That I can provide! I celebrate our new partnership-" The pirate snapped his fingers in the air, "another round for my good friend here - 'n' bring something stronger!"

The pirate used his thumb to tip up Cad's hat, "Tho - I should warn you, my new 'n' most exciting partner 'n' crime - we Weequay pirates are exceptional drinkers. You may be laid out before you know it - 'n' then I am _not_ responsible for any fun that happens."

An amused dark chuckle rattled through the bounty hunters cybernetic tubing and he picked up his new glass in those extended fingers of his. "I guess we'll be seein' about dat -" Cad flicked Hondo's dark brown hand away from his hat, "_Friend_ - I'm oh-so sure I can be handling anyting you've got up your sleeve."

"Nothin' but a good time," Hondo grinned and slapped the other on his back. "Drink up! Drink up-!"

Ten rounds later Cad would have considered that he'd underestimated Weequary tolerance of spice -

-if he'd not been so busy trying to eat Hondo's face. Ten rounds later found them half way down a hallway leading to the pirates quarters a mess of limbs and sticky spice-laced faces practically rolling along the wall rather then doing any sort of real walking. Coated arms were laced into each other, looped around necks and shoulders as they staggered along. Being the best of _Besta-best friends_ they had traded head gear. Goggles for the hat - half cockeyed on each of their heads only made worse each time one of them bit or nipped at the other's lips.

"You are .. you are so very blue in t'face, friend Bane -" the pirate wrapped his arms around the blaster holstered skinny waist of the other and rolled them a bit further down the hallway, "I am wondering about t'rest of you."

"I'm alll blue - baby," the duros slurred against the weequay's rough neck, "why don't you come... 'n' see how blue I can be.."

Hondo grinned bigger to that and tried to hurry along to his quarters - the quick step got boots entangled and down they both went in a heap of coats, braided hair and cybernetics. The two drunken aliens rolled together, snapping, grunting, laughing between off-mark dry-humping. It was only when Cad's hand landed aggressively between Hondo's legs that the pirate remembered their course of action.

"Not so fast - Not so fast - so much better we can get to know each other - Let me get you somewhere more comfortable!"

"Aren't you such de generous host?" Cad groaned as the other helped him to his feet. The bounty hunter wobbled into Hondo's side and practically let the other alien drag him the rest of the way to the room - not making it any easier for the pirate by groping with his hand and biting at the hard skin of his brown face every step of the way.

When they finally reached the Weequay's quarters - Hondo all but shoved the slim bounty hunter toward his bed and being that Cad was still latched on to the other like a Felucian Leech, it only resulted in them both tumbling against the item.

"Oooo I like t'play rough, boy!" Cad husked out hotly against the other's hard frilled jawline, "Gonna take me fer a ride? We gonna grease de landing? I'll blast de hell outta you~" The duros raised his hand and mockingly shot the other alien with his finger. "_Bang_."

"How did Aurra find someone so crinking hot as you, Bane?" Hondo grabbed the bounty hunter by his blaster holsters and hoisted the other male onto the bed; sliding upward so that he could crawl bodily on top of him. "I will be showing you such a good time - send you away with stories t'tell - Hondo Ohnaka rocks t'boat my special blue friend -"

"Shuddup," Cad hissed, grabbing the Weequay's braids in his hands wrapping them like reigns - "I will be de judge of dat -!"

Hondo mocked a bow, "By all means - let me entertain you -"

Brown hands began pulling at armored clothing - in his drunken haze; Hondo was finding it hard to manipulate the difficult items the bounty hunter wore. Try as he might - he couldn't get the belt or even the shirt open. "Your clothes are too complicated, my friend," he cursed at the confounded cockblocking attire and turned his face back to reassult Cad's mouth -

- only to find it slack jawed and huffing softly. Under the traded goggles the duros' eyes were shut. Sound asleep beneath the frustrated pirate.

Too drunk to fuck.

"Whaaaat are you doing? The fun hasn't _even started_ yet! No sleeping!" Hondo jerked the blue alien by his lapels a couple times but was unable to awaken him. The pirate scoffed loudly but then let the other slip softly down into the bed. He leaned over and licked Cad across his hot blue face before sprawling out on top of that lanky body.

"Fine, my friend - you take a nap. This party goes all night after all. In t'meantime I suppose I should find somethin' t'tie you down."

Weequay pirates _loved_ to celebrate. Even if they had to do it by _themselves_.


End file.
